The Top 4 Types of Toxic Bosses and How to Deal With Them Before They Ruin Your Life
If you are not sure if your boss is toxic and you are being manipulated – then your mind can get influenced by that manipulation. Your subconsciousness however will not stop sending signals to your brain and maybe even your body that something is wrong.
Mental distress it can have effects on our physical body, and you might be feeling unwell, dizzy, light-headed and just generally unwell. If you are dealing with a toxic boss, it can affect your inner balance and it is crucial, that you build your inner strength first before you think of a change. Work on having a strong mental stand. A specialty of toxic people is grabbing the slightest insecurity of yours they can find and use it against you – and that happens to a lot of us, especially if we are dealing with narcissist, psychopaths, manipulators and people that have a lot of problems themselves.
It is all about training your abilities to recognize these kinds of situations faster and not get into them in the first place and to protect your emotional stability and inner strength. The easiest and most accurate way of working through a subconscious feeling is the “ask-and-feel-technique”. If something comes to your mind, it is always connected with a feeling. Read through these statements and pay attention to how you feel and what it does to your body. This will help you reflect on your current situation and gives you the chance to analyze how you are being treated and how it is affecting you.
· I know what I need to be most productive and I tell or show my boss regularly
· I receive the same chances as my colleagues
· I receive guidance if I ask for it
· I am paid what I deserve
· My boss shares relevant information with me
· My boss respects my time
· My boss is reliable
· My boss says thank you
· I feel that I have a life outside of work
· I feel that my accomplishments are celebrated
It is always important to look at yourself first before looking at others. But I can imagine your burning to know if your boss is crazy or not. So, here are your top 4 most toxic types of bosses. Psychologists usually talk about 7 to 10 of different types of toxic leaders.
The ancient Greeks & Romans had a myth about someone who was obsessed with themselves. A young man was looking for the love of his life, when he caught a glimpse of himself in the river. He fell in love with it and starred at himself for so long, that he fell into the river and died. Since then the Narcissus flower marks the spot where he died. And that is why we call narcissist narcissists.
So, what makes a narcissist a narcissist? They mostly think they are smarter, prettier and more important than everybody else. They have a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy and need admiration and attention. There are 3 types of narcissist: the grandiose type, the vulnerable type and the rarer but more dramatic form “the narcissistic personality disorder”.
The grandiose type is the most popular one and easy to recognize because they are very open and communicative, outgoing and talk a lot.
The other type of narcissists is the vulnerable type. People that were not loved in their childhood are most likely to develop a “vulnerable narcissist” – behavior. They don’t seem narcissistic at first and know how to adapt and behave in a way that nobody notices what insecurities they have. But they do everything in the background to get the right outcome for themselves. They manipulate people by making friends with them and taking advantage of their honesty and friendship - and this is actually the more dangerous type of narcissism - even if we don’t think so in the beginning.
Either way - the narcissist is a really dangerous type of boss. Why? Because they can really ruin your life. The only thing, that can save them is honest reflection on their own behavior. Because narcissists react aggressively if you question their grandiose view of themselves, they need someone to hold up a realistic mirror - and that can be tough.
So, what can you do? Action. It is the only effective thing to do and the only thing that might change a narcissist is holding up that mirror. By not doing anything you will suffer and if you say something at least you are the one taking control over the situation. Be prepared for high resistance and defense.
Have you ever met this kind of person, that is in a leadership position and you think: OMG, how did this person get here? No skills, no knowledge, and basically a total lack of everything. Of course, you have, the Dippers are well known in leadership world. Do you know how they get there? Because they are Dippers. Those are the type of people that get on your back in the water, push you down and while you are trying to gasp for air, they are riding on your shoulders showing everyone how easy it is to be a boss and how awesome they are. There is no reason to keep carrying someone like that. They might threaten you of you not be capable to survive in the big water without them, but you have to realized that all they are doing, is pulling you down. You can swim, and you have additional weight - so don’t worry you will do a thousand times better without them.
But why do people like this rise above everyone else without knowing what they are doing? It is a normal social behavior, that we search for hierarchies and if someone is bold, has a healthy ego and a sense of entitlement, they can majorly impress you at first sight. Dippers demand and use their employees as slaves.
The Head of Kindergarden (Micromanager)
Micromanagement is the new-age disease of entrepreneurs. But there is a way around it: build trust! When entrepreneurs build a company and the company grows, but they don’t learn to redefine themselves in the process - they become Heads of Kindergarden. Running after every single project trying to overcontrol everything. You know why this is so dangerous? Because they think they can do a lot of things better than the specialists they hired for it and it is the no.1 motivation killer for any employee. You are able to build trust with a head of kindergarden - entrepreneur by taking over tasks without them noticing and them seeing that it workes without them. And then there is micromanager no. 2, which we also call “I have been here forever, longer than you, I have more experience, I don’t trust anyone because, and you have a lot to learn, so you must do every step as I say”. What you have to understand is what they actually are saying is: “I don’t know how this works, you are younger and smarter than me and I feel intimidated by you, so that is why I don’t let you do it on your own, because that would make me look stupid”. In this case what you have to do, is also to just do it on your own. Talking about it will not change anything – you have to just do it. Go to the edges of your boundaries and get work done efficiently.
The Pigeon – comes in and poops on everyone. This one has way too much going on in his head, is always busy but you have the feeling they are never actually working or doing anything. He talks on the phone all day, uses important words that mean nothing and has a huge vision. What you can do: Ask yourself if you really want to work for someone like this. You will never be appreciated, and nobody will notice that you are cleaning up the poop. One thing you can to: Ignore. They usually just come in to dump their poop on everyone and actually forget most of it. You are smart enough to know if it is relevant information or not. Good news: Pigeons don’t live very long. These overly stressed bosses live a lifestyle that will eventually affect their health.
Do you know what the no. 1 cause of stress at work is? According to a recent Forbes Workplace Trend Article, stress at work is on the rise. A recent survey from Korn Ferry, which is mentioned in this Forbes Article reveals, that 35% of respondents said their main cause of stress at work is their boss. Did you also know, that in the last 3 decades workplace stress has risen by 20%? 66% of people lose sleep because of work-related stress and 16% quit because stress becomes too overwhelming. A new study of the WHO shows, that depression and anxiety disorders cost the worldwide economy 1 billion dollars every year.
Reflect on your current situation and make your decisions wisely. Don’t forget that you are awesome and you can rock your career!